Another year is fading into memory and this is a good time to reflect on the joys of 2011. With the assistance of Facebook, I have captured the Top Ten Ian moments on 2011. Sit back and enjoy .
“Ian’s artistic raison d’être involving Marvel Heroes assisting in the Old Testament.”
Ian loves art. He can spend days drawing and coloring. At one point this year, he began inserting Marvel Super Heroes into the Old Testament. We got to see Captain America give an assist to Noah in getting the animals on the ark
Nothing says “Happy Birthday” quite like Captain America loading the ark. Who knew that the flood rained down in streams of orange, purple, and green?
We also saw Hawkeye helping Adam and Eve.
If only Hawkeye had got there a minute earlier, the world would be a different place. Alas, it’s not meant to be.
Ian’s after school quote of the day: while working on a Rubik’s cube, he says, “I wish I was a man of science.”
Did my son turn into Jack Shepard? Or is he the smoke monster….. hmmmm…..
“Ian is watching Batman cartoons with the captions on so that he can read along. Why does he continue to freak me out!!??”
Our tax dollars are wasted on this one. Why do we need a teacher to teach him to read? He just needs some DVDs and closed captioning. Sadly, 2011 started with him unable to read, and it ends with us having to answer questions about every advertisement (“Daddy, do you drink Bud Light?”) and every news story. Life was simpler when he couldn’t make sense of everything around him.
Daddy- “Ian, why are you running?”
Ian- “You said we need to run to tennis.”
Daddy- “You don’t need to actually run. That was a metaphor.”
Ian- “What’s a metaphor?”
Daddy- “It’s two meta-two’s.”
Ian- “Oh. That makes sense.””
I posted along with this the comment “The best part of parenting is that I always get to be Groucho, and my boy is always Chico.” That statement still rings true, but I fear as time moves forward he will become Groucho and I’ll turn into Grouch-O.
We stop in Kettlemen City at Carls Jr on our way to Pismo, and we are getting lunch to go. He says, “How are we going to eat in the car?? Oh, that’s right- mad skills.”
Mad skills, my boy. Plus a sincere lack of social graces, a willingness to conform to our “hurry, hurry, go, go” society, and an overwhelming fear of spending more time then necessary in Kettlemen City.
This morning, Ian apologized for diapers. He’s sorry we had to “do all of that.”
He drives me crazy at times. But he has such a good heart.
“Ian is singing over and over “he ate my heart, he ate ate ate my heart”. I finally asked him what it was, and he says “Lady Gaga”. I instantly realize my parenting skills are SEVERELY lacking.”
Followed soon by the post: “I tried introducing Ian to The Rolling Stones. After a couple songs, he asks, “can I go clean my room?” Well, THAT went well!!”
I did eventually get sone Stones in the iPod, and I’ve introduced him to classic Cheap Trick, so I feel I’m making headway going into 2012 to repair the Gaga gaffe.
When Ian leaves a note for Mama about wrapping paper, but spells “wrapping” without the “w” and with only one “p”- it has a VERY different meaning.”
This one generated more verbal comments than any other post. I think I made everyone work to decipher this one, but the pay off was very worth it.
Phonetically, this boy is good. But our language is a fickle monster that can’t be tamed.
Ian’s super hero name is the Fantastic Pancake. He pours syrup all over himself so the bullets stick to him.
Two words, seemingly unrelated, joined together off the top of his head. I love his creativity. And he made Shannan Watkin’s day when he told her that.
And number 1 Ian moment for 2011:
“Ian passes gas
Randi asks, “What do you say?”
Ian: “Thank you.”
Apparently we are excellent parents.”
I don’t know if we’re excellent parents, or just lucky. But this kid is a crack up.
And I must add the honorable mention list:
- “Ian hits the ball over the fence and shouts, “I hit a homer!!”. Unfortunately, the game is tennis.”
- “Ian is galloping through the house. Randi asks, “What are you doing?” he replies, “galloping”.”
- Ian is reading the newspaper- specifically, about the events in Pakistan last weekend. It is hysterical to hear him read global news in a six-year old voice.
- “Ian’s question of the day- “is Santa gonna die soon?””
- “Ian just told me that some mornings he fakes a cough so he can try and stay home from school. He obviously NEEDS to go to school because that was a really DUMB thing to tell me.”
- “Ian is on the tennis court shouting “Peace, People!!!”. I’m simultaneously horrified, amused, and proud. Such creativity.”
- “”Mom. Who is the Jackson 5?””
- “On Ian’s sixth trip to the bathroom, I ask him if he’s pregnant. He says, “what’s pregnant?”
Oh- never mind.”
- Ian is playing on the computer and just asked for my card number. After investigating, he wanted to spend $149.95 on gold coins for his Super Hero Squad game.”
- “Ian’s school learning of the day: “It wasn’t like periods and stuff, it was punctuation.””
- “Ian is helping me with his school paperwork. Right now, he is questioning his US citizenship. This can’t be a good sign.”
- After dinner and 30 minutes, Randi tells Ian he can go ahead and go swimming. Ian then runs and jumps off the diving board- without his floaty vest. The good news is he can swim. The bad news is Randi’s heart is still beating slightly irregular.
- Ian just recited the Green Lantern pledge from memory. He memorized it by himself. I’m ten different shades of proud.
- When I was a kid, we would tell our friends, “My dad can beat up your dad”. Today Ian tells me that his five-year-old friend Trenton can beat ME up. What in the world???”
- Ian doesn’t know what “mercy” means, but he knows what “obnoxious” is. I am so proud.”
- “Ian says, “good night. See you tomorrow Brother.”
- Ian says, “You know what would be funny? What if it was hot in April- then we could go swimming at April’s in April”. He then laughed for five minutes.